Drawing Circles

So, my friend, who shall remain anonymous, has encouraged me to Draw Circles.  We both bought Mark Batterson's Draw the Circle - The 40 Day Prayer Challenge. 

Today is Day 1.

My feelings are these, I don't see myself doing/sticking to this; I don't know what/who to pray for; but I do want to align my life with God's will; I do want to know God and live my life for Him. I want to give Him a chance to speak and then to hear His voice. To find my voice in Him.

The introduction caught my attention with this: 

• Preaching may move the hearts of men, but praying moves the heart of God. I long to do the first, but never considered the latter.
• The true purpose of prayer is to get into God's presence so He can outline His agenda for us. I say I want to align my life with His will...but do I really?

The challenge on the table: find out about prayer. I accept.

"This proved to be the most important forty days of my life." Dr. Bill Bright - Campus Crusade for Christ -- This is my prayer.

PRAYER!  Prayer? prayer prayer prayer…I hear it all the time, I read it all the time. I know its what God wants me to do, all the time…”pray without ceasing.” I am more of a conversationalist (motormouth…) in my prayer as opposed to a warrior. Someone once told me I’m a spaghetti thinker…you know the noodles twist and turn all over the plate…yep that’s my prayer life too…almost instantly I’m bombarded with a million thoughts, twisting, turning, but not collecting any sauce!

 I am well aware of God’s presence in my life, every moment of everyday (although that doesn’t necessarily stop me from sinning…but it does keep me talking to Him) but I don’t draw circles and sit in them till my prayers are answered, I don’t have a “prayer closet,” I usually pray once then let it go, I gave it to God, He’ll answer it in His time in His way, like it or not. The things that I TRULY want changed I usually only pray for them (after the initial prayer) when I am angry that they haven’t yet been changed! 

So, it boils down to discipline, ugh, discipline. Needed in a couple of areas of my life: prayer, choosing the healthier foods, exercise, and can’t think now but I’m sure there’s more!

To Be A Living and Abiding Voice

A Living and Abiding Voice

It’s my goal. I have many goals, but this is the most important.  Also the most difficult. The most lonely. The most rewarding. 

It’s why I’m here. Right? 

Throughout my life, as far back as I can remember, I didn’t really have a voice. Not an audible voice, but a say. 

Oh sure, they ask, but don’t listen.  Then sometimes just didn’t ask. 

I did talk a lot though. About anything really. Just to be heard. When I was 15 my friend’s dad nicknamed me Motormouth. Funny I thought. I still use it today. It suits me.

I developed anxiety over it. suffered with it for years.  Sometimes even now. But, I’ve learned that it’s not all that important, that people don’t hear me. It’s not my say that matters.

I shared with another friend recently that I dream of someday having a speaking ministry.  She created this blog.  

She says many people begin with a blog.  Like the Pioneer Woman.  

I am witty at times. I love to make people laugh.  I love laughter.  I think I missed my true calling – comedian.

I have spent the better part of the last 10 years speaking with women, counseling women, teaching women. 

Many times they thank me for having just the right thing to say. Blessing them with my words.  Truth be told they are not my words. Not my wisdom. Just my voice.

That’s when it clicked. It’s not about me, my thoughts, my opinions, my say.  It’s about His.

Anxiety gone. 

Cool huh?